why is it so frustratingly hard to forget
yet so painfully easy to remember?
all it takes is a moment of weakness.
an instant wherein your will is betrayed by a thought.
one nebulous reference. a tiny, entirely insignificant association.
that’s all it takes for the feelings to rush back in
flooding my system, drenching all reason and reasoning
that has taken me this long to construct; tempered by excruciating pain and torturous assumptions.
i yearn to return to a simpler time.
i ache to devolve, to regress to when what i felt trumped all thought.
when the world, and my place in it, became lucidly clear with every glance, every smile, and
each unspoken declaration of complete and utter devotion.
i catch myself, in these unreasonable times, returning to a time and place in which
i would have given it all to her–my soul, my gifts, my hopes, my life.
but even more, i dream of when i was courageous and blessed enough to give her my love.
this that i speak of is nothing, yet simultaneously everything, that anyone–scholar, poet, every tragically emotive/sensitive modern day man, has ever attempted to grasp.
it is as elusive as it is wonderourly beautiful.
and to know this beauty personified is a rare, uncommon phenomenon.
bask in it’s temporal nirvana.
embrace it as intensely as you can
for as long as you can, because
this, too, will pass.
