why is it so frustratingly hard to  forget

yet so painfully easy to remember?

all it takes is a moment of weakness.

an instant wherein your will is betrayed by a thought.

one nebulous reference. a tiny, entirely insignificant association.

that's all it takes for the feelings to rush back in

flooding my system, drenching all reason and reasoning

that has taken me this long to  construct; tempered by excruciating pain and torturous assumptions.

i yearn to return to a simpler time.

i ache to  devolve, to regress to when what i felt trumped all thought.

when the world, and my place in it, became lucidly clear with every glance, every smile, and

each unspoken declaration of complete and utter devotion.

i catch myself, in these unreasonable times, returning to a time and place in which

i would have given it all to her--my soul, my gifts, my hopes, my life.

but even more, i dream of when i was courageous and blessed enough to give her my love.

this that i speak of is nothing, yet simultaneously everything, that anyone--scholar, poet, every tragically emotive/sensitive modern day man, has ever attempted to grasp.

it is as elusive as it is wonderourly beautiful.

and to know this beauty personified is a rare, uncommon phenomenon.

bask in it's temporal nirvana.

embrace it as intensely as you can

for as long as you can, because

this, too, will pass.