June 11, 2007

• why is it so frustratingly hard to  forget

  yet so painfully easy to remember?

  all it takes is a moment of weakness.

  an instant wherein your will is betrayed by a thought.

  one nebulous reference. a tiny, entirely insignificant association.

  that’s all it takes for the feelings to rush back in

  flooding my system, drenching all reason and reasoning

  that has taken me this long to  construct; tempered by excruciating pain and torturous assumptions.

  i yearn to return to a simpler time.

  i ache to  devolve, to regress to when what i felt trumped all thought.

  when the world, and my place in it, became lucidly clear with every glance, every smile, and

  each unspoken declaration of complete and utter devotion.

  i catch myself, in these unreasonable times, returning to a time and place in which

  i would have given it all to her–my soul, my gifts, my hopes, my life.

  but even more, i dream of when i was courageous and blessed enough to give her my love.

  this that i speak of is nothing, yet simultaneously everything, that anyone–scholar, poet, every tragically emotive/sensitive modern day man, has ever attempted to grasp.

  it is as elusive as it is wonderourly beautiful.

  and to know this beauty personified is a rare, uncommon phenomenon.

  bask in it’s temporal nirvana.

  embrace it as intensely as you can

  for as long as you can, because

  this, too, will pass.

   

   

  • 11:53 pm
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