between her and i, well things seem to be taking on a life of itself. we're really good together, or so the general community feedback indicates. strangers have come up to us to say what a great couple the two of us make--and we're not even technically together. not like that means anything substantial in and of itself, but it is, however, encouraging given how challenging this labrynth of a courtship has been, thus far. and yes, the plot thickens...so we've been seeing each other rather regularly for the last couple of weeks. despite the momentary hurdle (e.g. her as yet unresolved relationship)and against most odds, she and i have continued to grow closer. she's finally recognized that her feelings for me aren't going anywhere and only grow stronger as the days progress. having come to this undeniable reality, she decided to tell her boyfriend everything. and he gave her an ulitmatum and told her that she can never see me again. out of loyalty, guilt, what have you, she acquiesced and the two of us met. she told me how it had to be--she doesn't want to hurt him. so maybe this is the best decision for both of us, she said. all i had to say was that she was making the wrong decision. i didn't have the energy or usual resolve to try and dissuade her, so i didn't. i just told her that i thought she was making a huge mistake. our eyes did most of the talking. that was enough, i guess, for her to take a moment to reflect and realize that, indeed, she couldn't do it. i had an exam to take, so we met up again afterwards--she came along with alistair, randall, leslie, ori, elad, and ronald to De Roeter for happy hour. her boyfriend told her to end things with me and to be home at 6. i didn't want to cause her anymore grief so i reminded her that her boyfriend was expecting her home. she didn't want to leave. she wanted to stay with me. 5 rounds later, we all headed to a pizzeria to grub, and at some point in the converstation, she tells me that when the two of them were arguing the night before, he had threatened to track me down and kick my ass. well, you know me, i can't pass up a challenge like that. so in my innebriated hilarity, i wrote down the precise directions to my flat, the exact address, along with my phone number on a beer coaster. obviously as a joke. it was funny. in the "letter", i refer to him as a "sorry biatch" and invite him to drop by any time so we can "handle things American style". and i signed it "yours truly". hey, i thought it was pretty funny at the time. she walked me to the nightbus stop at around 3AM. this morning, i get an SMS from her warning me that he had somehow found that beer coaster in her purse and to not go back to my flat tonite: him and his friends in the Marines are planning to jump me. how utterly evolved of him. well, given the fact that Ganzehoef, the neighborhood i live in, is widely considered to be an unsavory "ghetto", i doubt he's got the nerve to come find me by himself. did i mention this piece of shit is 4 years older than me? sad, so sad. but like i said in previous posts, the only thing i have against the guy is that he's caged her up for far too long, and in my mind, for all the wrong reasons--see, 9 months after he got dumped by his girlfriend of 10 years (since he was 13!!!), he started dating judith. dating is too benign a word for this particular case because he basically didn't have the sack to be his own man so he cowered his way into judith's 19 year old arms. and she took care of him--she nursed his sorry, stunted excuse for self-esteem and basically helped him gain the closest thing to manhood that he'll get. in her own words, "[she] was his medicine." she's like that--compassionate, i mean. but i imagine there comes a time when being someone's loving crutch gets old. but it's like this guy's been self-confined to an emotional wheelchair for more than half of his 28 years. it's obvious to me that he's scared shitless of being left to his own devices. which is more pathetic than anything. that's not what pisses me off about him--it's like he's a blackhole of neediness and dependency and he's hellbent on sucking judith in with him. and what if he gets his way? what then? i don't want that unfortunate inevitability for her. she deserves WAY more than that. and if he's stupid enough to come to Ganzenhoef tonite, or any other nite, i'd gladly tell him what i think of him. my dutch isn't anything to be really proud of at this juncture, so i might just have to let my fists do the talking.
i talked to her while she was on a train to go back home, down south. she's going away for a week to clear her head and his influence and to suss things out for herself, with help from her family and friends. i hope she, in some way, finds the clarity that she's struggling for.
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