a friend of mine from high school just got signed to the Lakers!!!
http://www.nba.com/lakers/news/archibong_030814.html
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"Palestinians identified one of the dead as Ahmed Shtewe, 24, a member of the violent wing of Hamas whom a senior Israeli security official called the ``chief operations officer'' of Hamas. The Israeli official said Mr. Shtewe had organized suicide bombings and rocket attacks, and was planning more violence."
we were the same age for 3 days.
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there's a thin line between action and inaction. in the blink of an eye, or rather several blinks in hesitation, circumstance splits, like bathroom plumbing. tonite, 2 taxi cabs, 2 conversations.
after waiting for the night bus that never came, i hailed down a taxi and went into town to get some late nite eats. i took a pause to check out the outside of the cab. it was a nice design. a new Euro-exclusive production Toyota model. i got in and decided to ask about the car to start conversation. the driver was this hulking dutch native in his mid-20s. he was a burly dude but was real nice. we ended up talking about a mutual interest in autos for a good 15 mins. until we got to Dam square. by curiosity more than chance, i happened upon a spot that has THE best hotdogs that i've tasted to date. i had seconds. then on the cab ride back, i got in a Merc bumping Tupac. the driver didn't seem much older than me. i was tired and full and wouldn't have protested a nice, silent ride. but i was too interested in what hip hop was to him. he looked about as young as the first driver, so i figured at the very least, i could stear conversation towards an insider's take on things to do in the city, we talked about Tupac, what Tupac represented in hip hop, then to the current scene in amsterdam. finally we ended up talking about US foreign policy, minority identity formation [he's Morracan and raised in amsterdam] and the alienating duality of the 2nd generation. his name is Said. when we got to my stop, he didn't have enough small bills for change so i just gave him a good tip. on account of the conversation on the ride over [and the tip, i'm sure], he gave me an I.O.U. with his number for a free cab ride. "a promise is a promise". and i'm sure it will--that's the Dutch.
the more i think about it, the more i keep arriving at the same instinct and feel compelled to seriously consider moving here completely. simple kindnesses and common courtesy.
this post is about challenging myself. -
after sitting through another 6 hours of mindless and ineffective lecturing, i returned to the flat ready to just recline and relax. then clemens, my austrian flatmate, suggests we venture out to Bloemendaal ("valley of flowers") and go to a beach party our school was throwing. we took a train to Haarlem, got off at the wrong stop, walked around aimlessly for a good hour, asked for directions over a dozen times. we stopped one girl on a bike and she walked us all the way to a bus station and was uber friendly. then, we asked this drunk 60 year old woman for directions to the beach and she stood us there for a good 20 mins., recited a poem in german that she had learned in grade school, gave a a brief summation of the neighborhood gossip, and went off about her bygone years as a professional ballet dancer. she was cool. finally, we stop at the grocery to pick up some smokes and a lady there tells us we should hitchhike. i've never done it before, but right away, this guy who works at an art college picked us up and drove us 9 kilometers to the water (so Kerouac). all you can eat barbequed pork, potatoes, and corn. yummm. ran into the one girl who's in my class. at first, i guess she thought she was hot shit and was real rude when i introduced myself to her. then she saw me on the dancefloor and an hour later, she's coming up to me and being all chatty. girls. fickle. real fickle. what a brilliant way to spend a friday night.
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yesterday, i made the most of what could have been a grisly day. after waking up in the early afternoon, belly still warm and quiet from the dol sot bibimbabb (butchered romanization) i had the night before, i caught a train for a day trip to Rotterdam. walking around in Rotterdam for the rest of the day, there was a strange familiarity to the city. it's nothing like Amsterdam--i felt like i was walking around in L.E.S. in Manhattan. all the buildings in Rotterdam are post-1945, so maybe it was the obvious "newness". now that i'm thinking of it, it reminded me alot of Providence, mostly. and right now, the weather is soothing--right around the time when the endless days and B.O. of summer wane, clearing the way for layered clothing and overcoats. living in L.A. for the last year, and Hong Kong the year previous to that, i'd forgotten what a true Autumn felt like. crisp breeze, lanquid sun, embraced by an appropriately comforting haze--a celestial lullaby. i can't help but smell the air everywhere i go--i love the smell of this weather. simple pleasures, ladies and gents, for a simpler life. and as a finale before heading back to Amsterdam, i ate some long overdue bombass chinese food at "Chinese Muur"--ma pa tofu and spicy salted squid (reminiscent of Boston weekends). thanks to all my birthday well wishers. i appreciate it.
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as of 27 minutes ago, i am officially old. 24 years, to be exact. 1/3 life crisis? assuming i'll live a lengthy life. it's too early to tell. i worry too much, as it is, about where or what or who i'll be. wonder too much about if the person i am right now, going the way i am, is the person i need to be to make material my ambitions. everywhere there's doubt. everyday there's illusion. my life, at present, is buoyed only by an unseen potential, a tentative faith and a tangible fear of failure--a 24 year out of body experience.
i used to have intense nightmares when i was a kid. my family tells me i used to walk and talk in my sleep. some nights, i'd wake up, drenched in sweat and shaking uncontrollably. i'd reluctantly go to bed, uncertain if i would wake up the next morning. some nights, i'd jolt up out of bed, clutching my chest, unable to breath, my body on fire.. i was 11. the doctors didn't have any answers. to this day, i haven't found any either.
happy birthday, brian.
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